I keep thinking about the night of the fundraiser. I was never a very emotional guy. I never let my feelings show, especially not in a public place. Yet there I was on Sunday night in front of hundreds of people thanking everyone and I could barely get the words out as I cried in front of all of them. Its amazing how having a disabled child changed something so fundamental about me as my emotions.
Before we had Dylan, I never showed my wife that I cried. In fact in all the years prior to Dylan's birth, I can only remember tearing up once in front of her and that was when I found out about the death of my grandfather.
I simply was not an emotional person. Sad movies only marginally affected me. Watching Schindler's List gave me a lump in my throat but did not cause tears to come even in private.
More than three years with Dylan has drastically changed that. It all started with the time I cried with my wife in the hospital cafeteria when I finally realized that the child I was expecting who would walk and talk and date and graduate and get a job and marry and have kids of his own someday was never going to happen. While I was in the depressive stage of grief, I cried a lot.
I have become a much more emotional person. I will get a lump in my throat at a stupid AT&T commercial about two lovers reuniting. Anything emotional about parents and kids will bring tears to my eyes. For example, the first time I saw that ridiculous AT&T commercial about the father taking pictures of the monkey with famous landmarks for his daughter I welled up. (Why do cell phone commercials get to me?) Obviously after seeing it a few hundred times that commercial now simply annoys me.
Today I read a story about how Pixar arranged for a dying to girl to get a screening of the movie "Up" before she died. I could not finish reading the article without tears streaming down my face. To see the story go to: http://consumerist.com/5296044/pixar-arranges-home-screening-of-up-for-dying-10+year+old
After you read it you let me know if you could keep it together. The amazing thing is prior to having Dylan, I would never have been so affected.
I almost never cry about Dylan anymore. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I cried about him. Though if I ever hear "Mad World" by Gary Jules, it always puts a lump in my throat. I listened to that song a lot when I was in the depressed stage of grief. Its a great song to listen to when you are depressed. You can see the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4
I suppose I need to thank Dylan for bringing me closer to my emotional side,my feminine side, my expressive side, or whatever you want to call it. All in all, it has probably made me a better man.
Thanks Dylan...
Before we had Dylan, I never showed my wife that I cried. In fact in all the years prior to Dylan's birth, I can only remember tearing up once in front of her and that was when I found out about the death of my grandfather.
I simply was not an emotional person. Sad movies only marginally affected me. Watching Schindler's List gave me a lump in my throat but did not cause tears to come even in private.
More than three years with Dylan has drastically changed that. It all started with the time I cried with my wife in the hospital cafeteria when I finally realized that the child I was expecting who would walk and talk and date and graduate and get a job and marry and have kids of his own someday was never going to happen. While I was in the depressive stage of grief, I cried a lot.
I have become a much more emotional person. I will get a lump in my throat at a stupid AT&T commercial about two lovers reuniting. Anything emotional about parents and kids will bring tears to my eyes. For example, the first time I saw that ridiculous AT&T commercial about the father taking pictures of the monkey with famous landmarks for his daughter I welled up. (Why do cell phone commercials get to me?) Obviously after seeing it a few hundred times that commercial now simply annoys me.
Today I read a story about how Pixar arranged for a dying to girl to get a screening of the movie "Up" before she died. I could not finish reading the article without tears streaming down my face. To see the story go to: http://consumerist.com/5296044/pixar-arranges-home-screening-of-up-for-dying-10+year+old
After you read it you let me know if you could keep it together. The amazing thing is prior to having Dylan, I would never have been so affected.
I almost never cry about Dylan anymore. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I cried about him. Though if I ever hear "Mad World" by Gary Jules, it always puts a lump in my throat. I listened to that song a lot when I was in the depressed stage of grief. Its a great song to listen to when you are depressed. You can see the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4
I suppose I need to thank Dylan for bringing me closer to my emotional side,my feminine side, my expressive side, or whatever you want to call it. All in all, it has probably made me a better man.
Thanks Dylan...
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2 comments:
see now was that so hard..6 months..hm..joke..my husband is an emotional mess now too.. its part of being a special needs parent.. you should listen to the climb by miley cirus.. it fits our lives so well.. hope dyllan is doing good..
I still well up in tears when I look at my Gracie with little SMO's attached to her ankles trying to stand and working so hard. I cry because my heart breaks that any child can not just go run and play...my heart breaks when the kids at the park all all playing and my Gracie is just watching.......but all in all..I thank my God for her and would not want to live life without her....She too has taught me many things......most importantly is not to take life for granite...I have a deeper appreciation for small things........Hope to meet you this year at Niagara.
Maria, Gracie mom 2yr ES
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